Lead by example

It's been busy here on the farm, what with a baby girl hanging around now. I really try to focus on spending quality time with her and not being distracted, but there is just so much going on around us. The dogs in our face, tending to the sheep and the chickens, the garden (thank you rainy day), work, naps, bottles, boobies, diapers, laundry, eating...the list never ends. It makes sense that time seems to be going faster these days. Every moment is filled with...something. No time for a deep breathe, a half day at the coffee shop getting high on caffeine and watching people, a long hot shower...things of the past. I feel some things slowly working their way back into my schedule. For instance, I am writing at this very moment for the first time in months. I cooked enchiladas for dinner, baked some banana bread, I read an ENTIRE book! I'm lying, I was 75% complete when my digital library loan ended. I'll get it back! But still, 75% of a recreational book?!!? It wasn't a self help book, nothing about raising kids, teaching babies how to sleep, being a better mother and wife...nope. It was pure fictaliciousness. It was the first time in a long while that I felt like Theresa again. Clearly defined. It gets away from you sometimes and your running around like a robot...like a cold, naked robot. I finally decided that pumping to get 3oz. of milk a day was a sad state of affairs. I worked it out. I spent roughly 2 hours a day hooked up to a pump to give Jo 3oz. of my milk...3. For those of you who are not currently in the baby kingdom, that's half of ONE of her 6 bottles of the day. I'm not a math lady but it's something like diddily shit % of her food. I think I stuck it out a lot longer than most and that's all that matters, right? I have my reasons for sticking with it and for stopping. I finally realized that parenting is this great gift where you get to pick and choose what you want to do and no one can say SHIT...it's fantastic. All these methods and philosophies and at the end of the day, mamma knows best. It rings true. Leading by example is my next big endeavor. I am working on waking up and leading this AWESOME life...making the most of every moment, always smiling and singing, being healthy, gratuitous and giving so that Jo will simply follow suit. I read Italian books to her, play the piano (she does most of the key tapping), dance with her, lay in the grass with her (while fending off spiders and leaves that fall from the tree...I've gotta be careful, she could choke on one of those ya know). Who am I kidding, I haven't showered in 4 days, my socks don't match and I just ate a Hershey bar (not the whole thing). Motherhood and family life seems completely attainable one minute...I'm crushing it, taking on the world...and the next, I'm crying in the bathtub because I will never fit into my skinny jeans....ever...again. None of that matters. I'm doing my best and that's the best example I can be right now. Jo is asleep, the dogs are passed out in their beds, Rick is drawing up the house renovation in his notebook and I'm WRITING! I just WROTE A BLOG POST!! Things are good. Hope you're staying glued together.