Thursday, September 25, 2008

Get Busy Livin'

Ahhhhh the day is almost here....Not sure what to write about today with so many things happening around me, but I promised I would write for ME! of conciousness.
Went to Joelle and Michael's wedding...a work wedding. Twas' beautiful. Danced, ate...enjoyed the make your own sundae station at dessert, stared in awe at the beautiful bride, stared in awe at my fiance while we danced. It's tough not to fantasize about what it will be like the day we are married. I tried not to plan my gaze, my smirks, the way I would walk, the wink, the whisper...I want it to come to me that day. No staged dancing, no practicing the first kiss...everything will just happen.

Booked our flights last night. We arrive in Dublin the morning of my 26th birthday and I can't stop pinching myself to see if this is really it. Celebrating St. Patrick's Day in the mother land with my soul mate. All of our dreams...finally coming to fruition when we both clicked the "purchase tickets" button together last night. Our third trip back together. The first, sitting next to each other as friends, the second, holding hands as a happy couple, the third...most likely drooling on each other’s shoulders as husband & wife. Another check on my list of things to accomplish in this lifetime…right next to obtaining a set list from a rock concert without showing my A-cups. Become a gypsy who smells like patchouli and tells great stories…. CHECK!

I want to write more about our upcoming travels, but I have a 9-5 job I still need to attend to…for now.

Visited my Aunt Antoinette in the hospital this morning. The family is writing back and forth with updates after each of us visit.

Hello my beloved Colasurdo crew,

Just wanted to let you all know that I got a chance to visit Aunt Antoinette. I certainly should not have gone alone...that was a mistake. It was hard for me to handle seeing her surrounded and attached with machines, I'm simply not good at that stuff. She was asleep for the entire visit and I talked to her and told her how much we are praying for her and how much we love her. I told her Rosemary sends her love from Idaho...that I am anxious to be a bride...and that I wanted her to wake up so I could say hello. That didn't work. They made me wear a protective lab coat and gloves because of her bacterial infection. It's tough to wipe snot and tears off your face with rubber gloves on.

Tracheotomy at 3:00PM. The doctors were meeting about her outside the room and spitting out some serious jargon. The nurse translated for me "her status has not changed, the bacterial infection is in her stool, go wash your hands" I followed her advice and then got lost trying to find the elevators.

All in all....a C- on the visit. I left unfulfilled having not been able to look her in the eye and tell her everything...I just hope the nurse delivers my message for me....

I'm afraid I will most likely not be going back...unless we are all updates from everyone are much appreciated.

Love you all,


I know this seems like I am ending on such a sad note, but it really isn't. It was enlightening. I walked into that hospital nervous about not being able to speak. I was intimidated...the same way you are when you enter a big city after spending so much time in the woods. Seeing so many people. Different clothes, colors, thoughts, problems, sicknesses, weaknesses....stories! Ones that I wanted to know so badly and at the same time, be as far away from as possible. I left with a raging fury for life. I left with determination and purpose to live every second of my life for everyone I love and who has loved me. To fly where I don’t fit in, to run out of money, to take chances... I left knowing that I would some day write a will and leave only inanimate objects to the ones I love the most. And I also left with 13 cents short of the 6 bucks I needed for parking. 6 bucks for a half hour of parking! Damn Republicans!