I always promised myself I would never regret anything in my life. It all happens for a reason... if you think it's regret, let it linger for a few minutes and you'll see it's just fate with a creepy mask on. Surprise! That was supposed to happen!
Oh...turns out 4 years of your commuter life is down the drain because Lit majors don't make any money...No regrets here. I got to read 800 books from the canon and write some earth shattering thesis statements on Alexander Pope's love letters. Get that dirt off your shoulder and hang up your diploma!
Oh...turns out your bladder is far weaker in your sleep than you'd imagine after an excessive night of drinking...No regrets here, we invested in that mattress cover at Sleepy's so things really worked out...plus it's a great story for the kids.
Nope...never let regret get a hold of me. Until that fateful day. The day I won tickets to see My Morning Jacket...and shamelessly sold them to a girl on Craigslist who was far less into the band than I (clearly exhibited in her lack of SHOUTING in our emails, use of smiley faces, exclamation points and desperation). I felt used. I wanted to light her money on fire.
I have watched Youtube video after YouTube video...and the mask gets creepier and creepier. Ugh, regret....you merciless foe. They covered "All I Need" by Tammy Terrell & Marvin Gaye!! The humanity.
Whatever....Along the same lines (not really)
A couple sad Mondays ago we were set to check out Vampire Weekend at the new Wellmont Theatre in Montclair (which I must say has a wonderful view from the veranda...we were never in the "veranda" I have just always wanted to say something like that). I, with all my greed and spite on a Monday morning, attempted selling the tickets on Craigslist with a plea to readers "I hate Mondays, as they have continued to ruin my life, and can't make it to the show...please buy 2 tix face value." My very first response came an hour later and the conversation read as follows:
Evan: Dude, if you want to cheer up and get out of the shit mood you're in then the best thing you can do for yourself is go see Vampire Weekend. I would offer to buy them but honestly, I think you need them more than me (and i'm broke). Go to the show, man. Don't sell those tickets.
Me: Dude....
thanks....
I'm going. =) **note the smiley face (aforementioned in showing excitement and gratitude)
Evan: Well played, friend.
Me: ...and I plan on writing about you on my rad blogspot (that is read by the world) about how you salvaged my Monday and reassured me that there are fair people in this world that really care about our well-being. ....you are kind and good...and no one will read about it.
Evan: Glad I could help. I logged onto craigslist to find a job and ended up making your day and getting cast as an extra for a matzoh ball soup cooking show demo. The internet is a craaaazy place.... Have fun at the show and let me know if they play any new jams that aren't on the album.
Me: Hahaha!
So strange...Congrats on your matzoh ball gig!
I'll keep you posted and send some video of the show.
K...so the ending gets pretty weird, boring, typical....but the boy stepped in and changed a whole work day for me with a simple response to a Craigslist posting. I would never go out of my way to do that...changed my whole perspective on mankind....and I never sent him any video.
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A few weeks ago, I was shaving my hefty beard in the men's locker room after a workout, and before I head up to my mindless job. There was a man next to me, shaving away with the sink on full blast... the whole time. He would not shut it off. Shave, shave shave, rinse in the already flowing water, shave shave shave. I wanted to say something. But I didnt. Then he started brushing his teeth. with the same results. Has he learned nothing?!?! I still kept my mouth shut.
He looked like a man in his thirties, maybe had kids. And I could just picture him teaching them to turn off the water when they brushed their teeth: hypocrite. Or he taught them to keep the water running: Republican. We have plenty of it. Look, it just keeps coming out! I still said nothing.
I left the locker room to my mindless job with my head hung low, and I questioned my belief in saving the world one person at a time. I questioned my drive, ambition, and reasons for wanting to save the world. I was beaten. I went back to the gym at the same time for weeks. And to no avail. I had to redeem myself. I couldn't even recognize the guy if I saw him. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes, even if I had recognized him. I had let him down. I had let his family down... For generations. I had to rectify this situation. This morning was my salvation. I heard him at first. Sink running full blast. So I set up shop right next to him. Rinsed my face a little, and then looked at him right in the eyes, well, through the mirror, and said "ya know, you are wasting a lot of water". I DID IT! I think I was shaking. He replied "Ya know, you are right. Sometimes, I just get in groove, and don't even notice". Yeah right. He shut off the water immediately and rinsed when he needed to rinse, and shaved with the water off. For the next 5 minutes, we were standing and shaving, awkwardly judging the use of each other's water etiquette. I had won.
Regret was great. At least it made me wake up earlier than normal, and have a work out. Now I need another driving factor.
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