I'm Pretty Far Behind on My Prayers

A Monk who prays so much he left his footprints ingrained in the floor.

Farewell to MRG

The best team to work with, in the universe! You will be missed!

I never thought I would have a petition drafted in my honor...But here it is...http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/theresamrg

My family makes wine!

It's true! Every year, we make wine together in Bloomfield, NJ at the Colasurdo garage, under the grape vines with 25 cups of coffee and lots of homemade baked goods. It's breathtaking, some of the greatest memories and one of the most delicious traditions! Each year, we dedicate the blend of love and grape juice to a Colasurdo who has passed. Our 2009 bottle will be dedicated to my grandfather Frank Coalsurdo Sr....who, I never had the pleasure of getting to know. My mother, who's passion is family and cooking, seems to think her and her brother (Uncle Frank) would not do the written dedication justice. I beg to differ, but jumped on the opportunity to help add some color and fun vocabulary words to their thoughts. Here is a sneak peak at the upcoming label:

Mia Cara Famiglia,

When we were children, we weren't able to spend as much time with our father as we would have liked. We learned a lot more about him as adults when we shared a kind of long-lost friendship. His clear, blue eyes were entrancing, that of statued saint. You could get lost when he looked at you, and his smile would bring you back while his laughter kept you warm. Our father, Frank Colasurdo Sr. was born July 1, 1922 in Jersey City to our beloved Modesto & Carmela Colasurdo who came from Italy in 1921 to create the foundation for the Colasurdo's in America. "Frank the Plumber" was a gentle, modest, neighborhood gumba, who cherished our family with all of his heart. After World War II, he was married and fathered 3 precious children.

Our father was sent to heaven on July 29, 1974 and we continue to celebrate his life through our tradition. With the right amount of wine and spaghetti, our family tree has continued to grow rich with love, revelry and virtue that we can lend to our ancestors...the rock on which we are built, the foundation of hope and faith where we stand proud!
The legacy continues!

Salute e Cent Anni
The Colasurdo Family

If these Polar Bears knew sign language...

Barack Obama and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper get dual climate fingers this week for a thoroughly disappointing meeting in Ottawa on Thursday. Rather than coming forward with fightin' words on climate change, the two promised to talk about talking about global warming a "clean energy dialog" that commits senior officials from both countries to collaboration. Lame. To make matters worse, the two leaders spent most of their post-meeting press conference hyping up their desire to drop billions of dollars on technologies to make dirty energy sources like coal and tars sands "clean." -Grist's Kate Sheppard

Friggin Genius!

In order to improve on my blogging skills and try to get people starving for more posts at TrainToMexico, I've been frequenting other sites looking for things that turn me on. According to some study that Rick let me know about...geniuses are not born into genius. They spend time researching various experts in their field in order to achieve greatness. The Beatles, Einstein, Verdi, Beethoven, Little Debbie, etc. The average time spent studying....10,000 hours.

Recipe for Expert Status:

Ingredients:
10,000 hours of devotion
3 distracting ticks/habits
1 bottle of hair gel (substitute w/ hairspray, mousse, powdered wigs, etc.)
Pinch of your flesh
Cheese

Instruction:

1. While enveloping yourself in the art or trade you desire to perfect, develop 2-3 distracting ticks/habits. No more, no less. Similar to salt, wonderful to have a dash, but too much leads to funny faces at the taste test.
   
2. Devote 1 of the 10,000 hours to standing in front of a mirror (or into a spoon) searching for a hairstyle that will define your genius (make sure it works with a beard and/or hat). Feel free to use any hair styling products, but ensure success by being extreme. Do not settle for a healthy medium. Be either sickeningly dull or absolutely crazy.
   
3. Your characteristics will start to change in the 8,000th hour. Pinch yourself to make sure you haven't become a selfish, bastard who merely thinks they are a genius and is adored by all.
   
4. Cheese. Amount per serving is irrelevant, but I'm pretty sure cheese makes everything better...except Chinese food.


5. Be/Let cool. Serve to friends, family & estranged fans before growing a beard and/or wearing silly hats and retreating to an opposing island or country.

GENIUS!

A lot of the blogs I have been checking out are simply a collection of shocking videos and funny parodies embedded from Youtube. They are more of a critique and culmination of everything viral on the internet. They're entertaining. My hope is that I can come up with some engaging stories that take more than 30 seconds to read. Either way, I never thought of writing to live but rather, living to write (very cheesy, bit of a piss shiver, but it's true). I don't need a list of subscribers to read every post. If someone happens to read just one, perhaps have it accompany their coffee....If any one person remembers what I wrote and they pursue some kind of expression that they were putting off....If a complete stranger tells me they read one thing I wrote and just LIKED it...I will feel like a friggin genius.

A Weekend in Theresa

Spent the weekend upstate (Theresa, NY) in a lone cabin on the lake. Friends Jenny and Joe invited us to the simple estate that Jenny's poppa built by hand. I can list what we did on one hand but, like most of the greatest moments so far, it's quality not quantity.

Highlights include but are not limited to:
1. The cabin- Have you ever seen an unconventional, handmade log cabin? Inspiring to say the very least. I immediately wanted to build an ark, a bow, a rocking chair. I wanted to read classic novels and write poetry; sip coffee to warm up and squint at the sun; take a deep breathe and smell nothing. So I did...and I will.
2.The canoe- A belated wedding gift that had been waiting for us on a pile of logs outside of the cabin. One of the most outlandish and genuine gifts I have ever received. Thanks to our generous and thoughtful friends we are no longer land-locked for our adventures. Rick and I spent a great deal of time just glancing at each other and laughing at the awesomeness of it all.
3. Ice fishing- I caught my first Northern Pike! Well....I caught my first fish!
4. Not pooping- Not so much a highlight, but as an old-fashioned gal I respect the lady-like abstinence from pooping or performing a stealth poop. It was uncomfortable, but a triumph nonetheless.
5. Meeting the folks- Seeing where and what people come from is really promising. It's refreshing to know that you and your family are unique, but that where you came from is a big part of your definition. Almost like in the spelling bee. Your family is like your "country of origin." You don't really need to know it to spell the word, but it makes it a bit more obvious and easier to understand.
6. Friends- Couple rounds of "Is it Bigger than a bread box?," Not finishing Cranium (that game sucks anyway), Joe's rendition of a deaf man trying to communicate with Rick (who is not deaf), waiting for fire, heart-shaped cookies, drawing in the snow....
7. Hiking the Ridge....wait, I guess I can't list them all on one hand...

Couple videos and pictures to follow...

Catch up & Bathroom Stall Additions

1. Italian classes start this Wednesday, don't be late for class.
2. Start a rough draft of your will, but make sure you hide it to avoid confusion....
3. Do something illegal....ie: Defacing public property

Tim Tams- We were discussing this lovely treat in the office, as we discuss every thought that ever enters our minds, and I wanted to learn more about it. I love biscuits. Digestives in particular. The Wiki site gives this lovely description: A Tim Tam is composed of two layers of chocolate malted biscuit, separated by a light chocolate cream filling, and coated in a thin layer of textured chocolate. (Yum!) It also follows with some very important information about the coming of age of these treats....The Tim Tam Slam is the practice of biting off the opposing corners of a Tim Tam, and using the modified biscuit as a 'straw' to suck up a hot beverage.

Adding "slam" to pretty much any chocolate covered treat is a surefire way to make me want to try it out. "The Snicker Slam!" Could you even imagine what that would be?!?!
Not sure why, but I also fell in love with the term "modified biscuit." It just made them seem so...important. I want to write it on a bathroom stall somewhere, maybe next to a gang sign or some sexual teen accusation, "Tara's got crabs and herpes...Joey hearts modified biscuits"...Wouldn't really make any sense though...? But graffiti is always very spirited and rebelious and we should return to it every so often...even encourage our kids to spread a little tasteful artwork in public places. It's human nature.

My crotch area is too tight now
(Again...possible bathroom stall? I gotta keep a Sharpie handy).
This little subject line is a spam email that I received at my work address. I could list all the vulgarity I have had to deal with, but this one...it really made me laugh out loud and I never want to forget it. They are really drawing at straws here. I remember back in 07' when spam email was just a list of prescription meds or a rhetorical (yet tasteful) question about your sex life. "Are you performing to her standards?" and "Viagra/Cialis at next to nothing!" But now, we're dealing with some borderline literary molestation. I mean, some of them are so graphic I find myself getting a little squirmy at work...(don't try and hide it, you've been there too). I say, tone down the spam...not because I won't be able to explain the term"hard cock" to my kids outside of barnyard context....but because I would rather indulge in my fantasies at home, in the car, maybe after tagging up a bathroom stall instead of embarassing myself at the office!

Of course, after stumbling upon these opportunities to shit up some stalls with grafitti, I had to research. Found a couple websites dedicated to the practice:
www.thewritingsonthestall.com/ AND www.graffitiproject.com/

Fun sites to frequent...there are countless, clever inspirations written and doodled...In a time where we are looking to define ourselves as a UNITED NATION, it's a treat to see who we all are in the bathroom. Fun find: Some come here to sit and think, some come here to shit and stink, but I come here to itch my balls, and read the writing on the walls.